How to discern an ugly cow.

How do you know when you've lived in Kosova too long? Firstly you see a cart of wood (for the fire) going down the road & you think "mmm, good wood" ie it's a good size for chopping into logs that will fit in your wood burning stove & it looks fairly dry which means it will light easily but burn for quite a time. Secondly you pass a cow & think (or in my case say out loud) "nice cow".
I have found this comment usually leads to my travelling companions giving me strange glances & laughing - but let me explain what I mean....please be patient with me.

Cows here wander around everywhere, freely. It is usually the responsibility of a young teenage son to walk the family's cows (just like you would walk your dog in the UK). They reluctantly take the small herd of cows out for a walk to find good grass for the cows to eat so the family can have plenty of milk & cheese. The problem is that Kosovar boys are no different than UK boys - they don't want to look after the cows and would rather be off playing football with their friends. So they do. They go off to play football with their friends leaving their cows happily munching on some lush green grass. But cows get bored too, so they go off for a wander - usually along the road by themselves. Cows aren't really savvy about the green cross code or the highway code & have a wonderful habit of just standing in the road looking at your vehicle coming towards it. As cows are somewhat stubborn & can seriously damage your car if you hit them you have to slow down dramatically & swerve violently to miss them. This puts you in very close proximity to said cow, close enough to observe them. Hence the comment "nice cow". To me a 'pretty' cow is fairly light in even-toned brown, has a good rump on her & is not covered in what looks like mud but isn't (please - use your imagination!) But I have also had the recent revelation as to what that little something extra is that makes a cow good looking - it's the eyelashes!!! Ugly cows have white eyelashes & pale hair (or is it fur on a cow?) around their eyes, whereas pretty cows have natural dark eye liner & long, fluttering, dark eyelashes. How this revelation came to me I cannot say, it was just one of those 'light bulb' moments. So now when we are driving & trying not to have a fatal vehicle Vs cow encounter & I suddenly exclaim 'nice cow' I can explain myself! Man, I wish I had 'nice cow' eyes.......