How to discern an ugly cow.

How do you know when you've lived in Kosova too long? Firstly you see a cart of wood (for the fire) going down the road & you think "mmm, good wood" ie it's a good size for chopping into logs that will fit in your wood burning stove & it looks fairly dry which means it will light easily but burn for quite a time. Secondly you pass a cow & think (or in my case say out loud) "nice cow".
I have found this comment usually leads to my travelling companions giving me strange glances & laughing - but let me explain what I mean....please be patient with me.

Cows here wander around everywhere, freely. It is usually the responsibility of a young teenage son to walk the family's cows (just like you would walk your dog in the UK). They reluctantly take the small herd of cows out for a walk to find good grass for the cows to eat so the family can have plenty of milk & cheese. The problem is that Kosovar boys are no different than UK boys - they don't want to look after the cows and would rather be off playing football with their friends. So they do. They go off to play football with their friends leaving their cows happily munching on some lush green grass. But cows get bored too, so they go off for a wander - usually along the road by themselves. Cows aren't really savvy about the green cross code or the highway code & have a wonderful habit of just standing in the road looking at your vehicle coming towards it. As cows are somewhat stubborn & can seriously damage your car if you hit them you have to slow down dramatically & swerve violently to miss them. This puts you in very close proximity to said cow, close enough to observe them. Hence the comment "nice cow". To me a 'pretty' cow is fairly light in even-toned brown, has a good rump on her & is not covered in what looks like mud but isn't (please - use your imagination!) But I have also had the recent revelation as to what that little something extra is that makes a cow good looking - it's the eyelashes!!! Ugly cows have white eyelashes & pale hair (or is it fur on a cow?) around their eyes, whereas pretty cows have natural dark eye liner & long, fluttering, dark eyelashes. How this revelation came to me I cannot say, it was just one of those 'light bulb' moments. So now when we are driving & trying not to have a fatal vehicle Vs cow encounter & I suddenly exclaim 'nice cow' I can explain myself! Man, I wish I had 'nice cow' eyes.......

say 'aaahhhhh'

Well, it's not quite 'aaaaahhhh' but really 'R'. My Albanian language teacher keeps telling me off for not pronouncing my 'R's correctly, she actually says I don't pronounce them at all - not in English, not in Albanian. Now I'm being corrected by Judah - a 3 year old!!! An American!!!! (but I forgive him that, he can't help it!)

The other day he was playing with his lorry (or truck if you are American) & I commented to him on it's nice trailer. "hey, Lesley, it's not 'traila', it's trailerrrrrrr". I can't win! So now I've been over emphasising my 'R's which sounds awful to me but I have been receiving favourable comments from all my Albanian friends (OK & the Americans too).

I shouldn't be too harsh on the Yanks as everyone here seems to understand their English a whole lot easier than mine, so much so that I now 'speak' some American without even thinking about it ... I now say truck (lorry), diaper (nappy), garbage (rubbish), cookies (biscuits), candies (sweets) as well as pronouncing some words the American way.

But now Judah also says some words the English way, much to his parent's annoyance. He say blue as in bloooo, flu as in fluuuuu, glue likewise & a really posh 'ballooooon' & an absolutely darling 'gorgeous'. I'm really sad to think I only have another 2 weeks to correct, oops sorry corrupt, him before he moves back to the States. And only another 2 weeks to continue feeding his baby brother, Caleb, that wonderful English staple food Marmite. America will be all the richer having these 2 gorgeous boys living there. And I will cry buckets when they go.